<DRAFT> Primary Care Provider,

Please pass this along to your Behavioral Health (sub-)department. I do not remember whom I saw (whenever that was, back but a bit ago): there's no access to that record/ name in your Patient Portal, nor can I message them directly (contrary to what they said I could do; having given me a business card without their name on it).

Please acknowledge the redirect, successful passing-along of this message…

Dr. Fillintheblank, Psy.D.,

To be clear, I ended our session early upon discovery that my Therapy Notes would become readily accessible by any doctor, nurse {bureaucrat, insurance company} with access to my medical records {down-the-road?}, which I found unacceptable: Mental/ Emotional-Health Privacy Matters. If something can be done about that, I might come back. [Presuming further sessions can be conducted in a more comforting setting than our first: an overbright, sterile, stinking of hospital, procedure room, with me sitting upon a bloodletting bench…]

On my way out the door, you asked what you could do to help (those like) me..? Advocacy, please. Bureaucracy was designed to evade/ avoid me/ us: aka ‘potential liability.’ Here's the highlights of a dozen-years of my failures to get anywhere with healthcare, alone: Medical Maladventures. org [most of which was under your ["HMG1"] umbrella, then finally ["HMG2"]]. I have since given up hope of ever getting better [and called it quits on that book, too: there's really nothing left to say/ do]: my recent attempts/ failures at your facilities only further strengthened my resolve that I'm doomed.

Should any medical providers care to help those who've fallen through the cracks, who need assistance the most (/whom nobody wants to be responsible for): create an Advocacy Program, please. Provide us with those who can successfully navigate Healthcare, know what they're talking about (and can use a phone), won't just be ignored/ dismissed: rather than us left perpetually stuck at the back of the queue (those without insurance: forever getting nowhere). We cannot survive this on our own (as demonstrated).

Be well?
“Silent”

ps. Apologies for the delay in my response: I was distracted getting nowhere, elsewhere. Also, I'm terrible with names: no offense.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Electrician, [CC: Regional Charity]

A few questions…

(When) Are you coming back? [Weeks have passed.]

Have you arranged for ["Power Company"] to run/ hook-up the new 200A feed? Or was I supposed to? Will it be buried or hung? Will there be additional charge to me? [What are the odds they will give me the old (replaced a few years ago after the previous was downed by a fallen tree) 100A wire from the pole to the house? It might just reach the barn, which has only a 20A line…]

Are you finished with the inside of the house?

Can I start getting to work on the (other) electrical aspects that weren't covered, or what I want to revise/ redirect (pictured)? Further Example: no wiring was pulled/ done to the office (counter to the proposal). [Though, I already started to rough-draft the media-wall hookups (pictured) to the enclosed rack (which I presume I am on my own with?).]

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Regional Charity,

I have issues with the work provided by ["Electrician"], namely how much (and the fact that) they are billing me for their ‘incomplete’ job: $2,###. I told them early on to stop when the ["Regional Charity"] funds were exhausted: they didn't, kept going.

Could you please send me their invoice to you? I would like to see what they charged ["Regional Charity"] for vs. me for (or possibly to both of us?). I have concerns. Their invoice to me was woefully lacking in details, while also having incorrect declarations: some of what they billed me for should have been covered by your funding.

Please do not discuss this with ["Electrician"], yet. This matter will require us to palaver, first. [I have a feeling that we've both been screwed here.]

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Regional Charity, [The Next Day…]

Below– Attempting to explain/ clarify my issues with the electrical work provided… I suspect this would come across better in your own words: dealing with contractors frequently, knowing the proper lingo (and not suffering from run-on sentences)… [Though, I believe I addressed all of my concerns…]

Be well.
“Silent,” Esquire

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> [A Few Days Later…]

Town Administrator, [CC: State Representative]

Could you please check in with ["Town Inspector"] regarding the status of my inspection? I haven't heard back from him.

The electrician puts this hold-up squarely on the Town. ["Town Inspector"] asked ["Electrician"] for pictures of their work in my basement, which he never set foot in. Did he receive those pictures? That was three weeks ago. ["Power Company"] cannot proceed with hooking up my power until they hear from the Town…

I am trying to close-out the work of ["Regional Charity"], a process which began more than six months ago. I haven't heard back from them regarding any of this, either.

["Town Charity"] made it clear they cannot proceed until ["Regional Charity"] is done-done… I am hoping ‘the Town’ could help finish the electrical work here that was left undone..?

Be well.
Your Neighbor,
“Silent”

ps. Happy April Fools' Day.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Regional Charity President, [CC: State Representative]

Last weekend, you came to see the electrical work provided, wherein you acknowledged that the work ["Regional/ National Charity"] paid ["Electrician"] for was incomplete (also, unsafe): said you'd email me (that night; received yesterday) regarding what would be required for the job to be completed…

Last year, I emailed you numerous times: (a running commentary, really) demonstrating my disability difficulties/ obstacles with bureaucracy, government, other charities along the way leading up to and surrounding ["Regional Charity (RC1)"]: wherein I made clear that I struggle with real-time communication, require an Advocate (or at least a translator) to speak (up) for me, especially when it comes to negotiation/ confrontation; showing how a major obstacle to forward-progress has always been the nonresponsiveness to my concerns by those I wrote to… ["When Charity Collides" attached: final(?) version, months ago.]

More recently, no direct response, in writing, (by ["Electrician"], neither) addressing my specific/ detailed concerns about the scope, direction and cost-(in)effectiveness of the work to be provided, nor my emails regarding the ‘flawed’ original work-proposal (which showed no signs that any of my concerns had been acknowledged)… you met here with ["Electrician"] and the two of you came to some sort of verbal agreement I did not understand (again feeling as if I hadn't been heard), which was never then provided to me in writing, to properly assess (at my own pace)… the unexpected invoice I received from ["Electrician"] looked nothing like what you tried to explain to me (after-the-fact) had been the final “agreement” between all three parties, regarding whom was expected to pay for what…

What precisely is “the previously agreed upon work scope in the office and living room”? That still remains unclear, undocumented, unagreed upon…

That ["Electrician"] is now asking for $1,###, rather than the original $2,### billed, demonstrates (knowingly) overcharging for their “incomplete and currently unsafe” Charity Work (having failed to inform they weren't coming back to ‘finish,’ until weeks later), while willing to leave it thusly so should the client be unwilling to (over)pay (nearly twice that) for to complete what minimally would be required by them to leave the jobsite electrical in a “safe” condition, next time…

Last weekend, I made it clear that I would not feel comfortable dealing directly with ["Electrician"] again, nor having them come back into my house. I feel even more strongly about that, now.

Must I retain an advocate/ attorney to resolve this matter? Or perhaps instead we all just walk away, don't dwell (but do better in the future)? Rather than potential headline: "Disabled Recipient Sued Over Botched/ Unsafe ["(Inter)National Charity"] Repairs."

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Regional Charity, [CC: State Representative]

Please acknowledge receipt of my previous message. I would appreciate a hint of what to expect next. A nonresponse leaves me/ us little to work with…

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> State Representative,

I could really use the help of an advocate/ representative/ neighbor here, rather than playing-out (alone, yet again) the commonplace "evade/ overwhelm the disabled"—hoping we'll give up/ in, go away, or say/ do something disqualifying (in our desperation)—routine carried-out over the span of weeks/ months which serves only to exhaust/ vanquish us.

Please, help me move forward: reach-out on my behalf? If ["Town Charity"] can't/ won't assist, I might as well give up and accept that I have to live without walls for yet another few years: as the next/ last charity/ bureaucracy on my short-list (still awaiting word from, also) cannot proceed with the preceeding/ subsequent/ requisite steps unless/ until completed by the previous, first. [Sound somehow familiar?]

Better to know now, rather than dragging-out the inevitable rejection/ failure (/crushing) of my hopes (/dreams)..?

Desperately,
“Silent”

ps. I never heard back from ["Community Charity"] regarding my forgotten firewood delivery (from last year), neither.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> State Representative,

There are two charities looking to help me with my home, waiting upon ["Town Charity" run by] the Police Chief's decision (/stalling): what work (if any) they can provide is contingent upon the electrical being completed (which is not within their purview).

["Faith Charity"] comes here next weekend to assess the situation, make plans for this Summer. Do I tell them not to bother?

Would it help to have ["Community Charity"] reach out to the Chief to (more politely inquire than possibly could I at this point to) see if his intention is to (not) help, so then they can figure out how/ if they might?

["Reverend"] has been kept seasonally apprised of my progress on the charity front. Would it help if I/ you asked her to ask if the Chief's going to help? [Her church being but a stone's throw away from his police department.]

Whether or not I get to have a warm/ safe place to live depends entirely upon the (lack of) compassion of one person: who seemingly wants nothing to do with me… If the intention is to remain unhelpful, I deserve to know that, and Why: no more dodges, delays, disrespect.

Please, Advocate.

Be well.
“Silent”

ps. The makings of a (sad) joke: A State Representative, a Reverend, and a Community Charity walk into a police station…

pps. The firewood received was mostly medium-small (rather than the large(r) pieces needed, again requested, for the fifth year in a row; none of which shall be ready to burn this year): which means thrice the effort required to keep my home heated next Winter.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Psychologist,

Apologies, my previous message was crass, underthought.

To expound… Click the blue "My only review this week…" [for the past month: the (first) green URL within for the prior two (including medical): keep following the (blue-)links backwards for the previous decade+… this website is a full journaling of my last year+: covering everyday aspects (of my despair; 200k words) filtered through the lens of commerce… the short-path: follow the Flagged entries; focus on the asides and bracketed commentary (look to the ‘tableau’ photos, too: for deeper meaning)]. That is what bureaucracy/ healthcare/ advocacy looks like from The Outside/ Without.

Perhaps you have some contacts within the Psychology Community who might enjoy reading my story, want to sit down and talk to me about it (for free, confidentially), maybe write a paper based upon My Lived (/Survived) Experience? This is why I wrote everything down, so somebody might care to follow my downward spiral, help others by shining some light on the struggles we face, alone. I have failed to find that ‘somebody’ on my own, with the interest/ independence to pursue this. Know anyone?

Please Note– No judgment/ disrespect towards you or the other individuals involved: you/ they are only doing what allowed to; you having gone above/ beyond what most nobody else did. [Not to discount ["Doc"], mind you: who hopefully has Graduated her Residency by now. Proud of you. (Crap, now I have to start all over again with a new PCP…) Parting advice: KBO.] Thank you for trying (best ‘they’ let you), truly.

Be well.
“Silent”

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> State Representative,

Is the highest-ranking government official living nearby (too) intimidated to inquire of the Chief Peacekeeper in Our Village his intentions regarding the fate of (the home of) a disabled neighbor?

You have mentioned that you seek to propose Advocacy Legislation at the State House. Hence my having kept you apprised of every obstacle encountered in my quest to get help, since September… to help you figure out what we need, and how/ where it keeps going wrong. Here is a perfect example of why: the reticence of others to step-up on our behalf.

Several charities are awaiting the decision of the Chief before they can act (or not), this would be my third (/fourth?) time asking you to speak-up for me (on this one issue): my future has been awaiting upon you to act, for three weeks now…

Please, Help Me?

Respectfully,
“Silent”

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> State Representative,

Apologies, I was having a poor-judgment day: it happens. Somehow, some way, I thought my previous message would help my situation. This would be (one of the reasons) why those with Communication Disabilities have trouble finding assistance: people often don't like (/trust) us, for ‘saying’ the wrong things, poorly. [And likely why I have nearly no friends left.]

Hence the need for Advocacy. We require a mediator/ moderator (who understands we cannot always help ourselves), to translate. Yes, you are probably correct: a major obstacle to forward-progress might be Me. I get lost in my isolation, lose perspective, forget how to be polite. [I go weeks without ‘speaking’ to another adult, months between conversations with strangers.]

My issue is with the Chief. My patience has run out with him, over the course of Seasons: being the perceived, solitary obstacle to success in what I have been working towards since Fall began: simply due to his lack of response (to you, either: it would appear). [Transference being another of my ‘troubles’ I need to work on, am facing difficulties finding professional help with on that front, too.]

Sorry I took it out on you, truly. An hour/ so after I sent that email I realized I'd said/ done wrong, yet again. [Thereafter spending several days (/weeks/ months/ seasons) in isolation, self-reproach: my typical response (before doing something/ nothing about it).]

Humbly, Regretfully,
“Silent”

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Faith Charity,

Thank you for coming over to assess our home.

As I often become befuddled in social situations (especially in a group-setting), I might have failed to point out a few matters that could perhaps factor into your decision: having now ‘slept’ on it…

Office– That giant tv was dump-salvaged, the desk chair too; the big computer monitor is being paid-off over six months (same as the desk it sits upon, previously) at $25/mo, so I can actually see the screen (such to write/ post my product reviews); the equipment rack was a birthday gift, years ago, the gear inside is decades-old, dump-salvaged, product-reviews, or prior six-month-payoffs; the leather furniture (in the other room, too) is secondhand, decades-old.

Electrical– It took me nearly a year to save up for just the supplies: wire, boxes, outlets, switches, breakers… The affordability of licensed/ bonded Labor being beyond my limited means. Hence my pizza/ beer-bribing of ‘qualified’ friends to help chip away at it, further: which I promise I shall find a way to have wired (in those two rooms, at least) by July: should you conclude to help (fingers-crossed)…

Ceilings– Might your volunteers require more work here such to ‘fill a week’ than hanging wallboard inside/ outside: it will likely be years before I can get around to (affording, someone else) running the radiant-heating tubing: instead, having drywall-ceilings installed downstairs by you, simply screwed in place, would look far better (in promotional pictures, too) than the nothing/ barren/ ugly they would remain otherwise until. Note: it took me months to save up for the downstairs-wall insulation, years ago, that's been sitting out in the barn. Would take me another many months on my own to save up for all the drywall you graciously offer to provide, should we be accepted.

Firewood Shelter– I never got around to telling you the Third Thing (you asked me what) I would ask help for… I presume you noticed the plastic-sheeting/ tarped firewood shanty falling-off the side of the barn? [Hard to miss.] That was the best I could manage to build, about a decade ago, to have room for the fuel-assistance firewood. [Tried using heating oil to get through Winter, initially, but ran out too soon (thankfully, had enough wood to keep from freezing, that year): the price-per-gallon having only skyrocketed since.] Basically, looking to build a better lean-to off the back of the barn, nothing fancy, but would provide proper shelter for ‘local’ firewood to dry beneath: in the sun/ wind rather than sitting in the dark/ dank. Any assistance towards that backend, even if incompleted, would be appreciated, help to ‘fill-out’ a week: should there be not enough to do here, yet..?

Yard(/Handi)work– I can manage maybe ten/ fifteen minutes of pruner, saw, rake, lawnmower {ladder, screwdriver, pliers, hammer, staplegun} a day, without getting hurt… At some point it becomes hard to not just give up (on getting nowhere, slowly), as nature continues infringing itself beyond my capabilities to fight it off, alone. I keep meaning to be better about that, but at this point I could really use a compassionate helping-hand to make that outcome foreseeable… even just an hour/ two of a few people ‘hacking away’ at the problems would prove inspirational/ motivational… Am happy to clean up the debris.

Second Thought– How many teenagers are we talking about could possibly be running around this homestead, with power tools, sharp implements, nothing but the best of intentions?

Faith– I would love to talk with you about yours. What you are working towards, with your program… precisely the practice we both agree, seek to expound upon, understand how/ why it is necessary for the betterment/ salvation of humanity. Respect.

Thank you for your consideration.
Happy Memorial Day.

Be well.
“Silent”

ps. Apologies if this came across oddly (that's just how my brain works, plus): I didn't sleep well last night, was still running through our conversations from two days ago and all the ways I might have neglected to positively clarify/ quantify the impression(s) presented thereby. [I'm out of practice.]

pps. I would love to Prove Wrong that wall-hung product-review "No One Is Coming To Save You" sign your group saw (and chuckled at, alongside the others), with your help.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town Admin, Select Board Chair,

I could use your help with advocacy, please.

["Chief"] has not written me back, in months.

If his intention is for ["Town Charity"] to not help with the electrical, my quest to fix-up my home could be derailed (for another few years).

Are you willing to reach out to the Chief? I need to know where he stands: will determine what, if anything, happens next. Two (other) charities have been here to look over the house: completed electrical in the living room and office (a service they do not offer; there's not too much to do, I have the supplies) is required before they can proceed with putting up interior walls. One of the charities, should they decide to help, would be here in July. They need to know soon whether to move on to someone else they could actually assist, this Summer.

Your Neighbor,
“Silent”

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Chief, [CC: Town Admin]

Could you please schedule an appointment with the electrician(s) for (early) next week to assess my situation?

I have been glued to my telephone awaiting a text for any last-minute cancellations (for nearly two weeks now), double-checking it every time I leave the room; downloading my email a few times a day (now)… This is not good for my anxiety. I typically keep my telephone nowhere near me: becoming a ‘digital hermit’ has proven better for my overall health, well-being: checking for any missed messages every few hours or so, sitting down to the computer for email only a few times a week keeps me from growing obsessive.

It might take the electricians a few weeks before they can get around to the work. Afterwhich, I need to finish stuffing the insulation: which will take me weeks, at the glacial pace I can do such without getting hurt. Another charity, presuming I am selected for their help, would be here sometime in July. If the wiring hasn't at least been pulled to the switches, outlets by then (and then insulated-over): I will have to let them know, "Maybe next Summer?"

I have been actively working towards getting interior walls (which have been missing for years) put up since September. I could really use your help completing the next step, such that those to follow may proceed accordingly (preferably, without further awaiting for the phone to ding: to let me know someone's on the way, shortly).

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Faith Charity,

Thank you for your help, truly: my home's walls, interior and exterior, are 95% where they need to be (to survive another decade of poverty), under budget, years ahead of schedule. I couldn't have done it without you. It may take me some time more to finish, but what's the hurry? I am safe, secure, shielded from the elements (mostly).

It has become brutal out here for the sick/ poor/ disabled. It was inspiring to see teenagers putting down their phones, picking up tools and working towards betterment of the homes/ lives of disfortunate strangers. Thank you for practicing what you preach: having proven a rarity to witness in action (for The Good), lately.

Please also thank your team for feeding me. Everything I had was spent getting the house ready for your assistance. I had grown weak, nearly collapsed from exhaustion (and hunger): they saw this and without hesitation shared their meals with me. Their parting gift, alongside a copy of your Holy Book, was a week's worth of lunches. [Already devoured, twenty-four hours later. I'm down two belt-notches in the past month from running myself ragged.] I appreciate the feast: been awhile.

There has been a fundamental shift in attitude/ action/ outcome since ["Faith Charity"] came into my life. I had lost my faith in charity and humanity. Thank you for helping me rediscover both. I shall be sure to Pay It Forward.

Bless You.
“Silent,” Esquire
Justice of the Peace

ps. With some reticence, I feel the need to share with you (all) more about whom (and the struggles endured beforehand) your three crews helped these past two weeks: Apr/08, Jun/14 and Jul/04 entries, making mention of your group (never by name or link: unless you would like me to?). Two of those products I gave to a crew leader (to pass along to management; thereafter buying myself replacements), having helped shape the turnabout in My Disability Quest: from Damnation to Salvation. Please feel free to pass along my story (without naming me) to others faithful, thoughtful. I hope to inspire (further) assistance, compassion for those who've been left behind, forgotten about (seemingly by all but youse), by shining some light upon the darkness we face when we stand alone/ apart.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town: Chief, Chair, Admin, Welfare, [Subject: Re: Neighbors Helping Neighbors]

In writing my thank-you letter to ["Faith Charity (FC1)"], I realized that I never properly thanked you for your help with the electrical, except over text to the Chief: how rude.

Thank you for your charitable assistance in getting the wires pulled to/ through those two rooms such that the walls could then be put up. I would still be wall-less and quite down-spirited had that not been completed, several more years likely to pass before anything could have been done on that front, alone. Much appreciated.

I write to ask another favor of My Town. Could you please hire a Building Inspector to look over the rest of the house? [I spent everything I had on electrical and insulation, am months behind on affording heating oil (for the forthcoming Fall/ Spring).] This house has other issues: precisely what, and which should take priority: I couldn't say.

I do know that the firewood chimney (running nonstop throughout Winter (for years already now): the ancient furnace proving inefficient at such temperatures) is questionable, but still accessible (as ["FC1"] doesn't touch ‘heating,’ that sheet of wallboard (Type X: which I bought) wasn't put up), the work beneath having been done by unqualified criminals (with numerous outstanding complaints, abandoned LLCs: found out later), having relocated the flue a few feet higher after the last chimney fire: their work should really be looked over by a professional before being sealed-up. The furnace chimney needs to be repointed, capped, the flue hookups are looking shabby. [Neither chimney having been ‘brushed’ clean (other than chemically) for years now: that basic act of maintenance having nearly killed me last time attempted.] Most of the exterior doors were hung crooked and are rotting-off (repairs which ["FC1"] also doesn't touch, understandably: potential liability). A window or two are in a similar state. The upstairs bathroom has been out of commission for over a decade: leaky cold-water pipes. I do not know the state of the foundation. The roof probably should have been replaced awhile back (but perhaps some simple patching/ sealing would buy it a few years more). Could use a hand migrating the major appliances over to the new 200A panel (I have the wires/ breakers, but am myself unqualified/ incapable); the place sure could use a generator (/split-AC) hookup, as the old 100A wires/ panel are still in place (going nowhere); could use a proper inspection (finally): as it was all charity-work installed. The septic outflow has roots grown throughout, the leach field is a sinkhole in the yard (both located uphill from wetlands). It would be a blessing to have installed radiant heating/ cooling tubes into the upstairs bedroom floors, attached to nothing in the basement (for now): those downstairs ceilings having been merely screwed into place (not overlapped/ mudded), such to be easily taken down, tubes installed, insulated and then sealed-shut forever. Several trees having grown more menacing in their threat to crush the bedrooms (choked to slow-death by invasives, lurching in the dark). Nature having consumed much of the yard, encroaching upon the home (a wildfire would run rampant)… It could prove helpful to have professionals look over all of these issues/ concerns: make a Priority (/Bucket?) List.

Optimistically, I ask if Our Town could reach out on my behalf to inquire should any nearby businesses be in a charitable situation to help out a Neighbor in Need [by now it being obvious how terrible I am at this]: such to know exactly what work needs be done to make this one home ‘Safe’ (for at least the next few years)? [Preferably handled over email, with a heads-up a few days prior to visits (who's coming, for what, will determine which mountain(s) of stuff I'll need to move, in preparation).]

Again, thank you for your help thus far. Please, now help to figure out what might go wrong next, and to connect with those local somebodies willing (to put in the work) to avert avoidable potential (neighborhoodwide) Disasters: in the Spirit of Compassion (/Public Safety).

Be well.
Your Neighbor,
“Silent”

[CC: State Representative]

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Local Churches, State Disability Scholars, [Subject: Re: Seasonal Update]

My home will now survive another decade of neglect. Well, when it comes to the walls of it, anyways…

Click "Cannot Review…" [Jul/04]: will catch you up on my overall quest(s), of late. [Follow the green links backwards as far as you'd like, to whenever last sounds familiar.] I will most likely require assistance with Advocacy when it comes to My/ Our Town/ State: reluctant to Take Responsibility for lending a (further) helping-hand… Know anybody nearby?

Bless You [/Be well].
“Silent”
[Matthew 7:7-8]

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> State Representative(s, Senator), [Subject: Advocacy in Action]

There has been no response from Our Town. [And why would there be?]

How comes along your proposed Advocacy Legislation? Mightn't it help if you could include some real-world experience: demonstrate Advocacy in( )Action? Show how simple it can be to help those in need? By Standing Up for them, doing something.

Please allow me to provide further updates/ context to my quest(s), to which you have borne witness (/been (B)CC'd upon) for Four Seasons now: click "Cannot Review…" [Jul/04] Apologies for that being a hot-mess, hard-to-follow. [But what do you expect from the journal of a sick/ poor/ disabled/ desperate person? Follow the green links backwards to February (Asides): which point further back (in blue) to where the story(s) began.] It would be appreciated if you could finally help “move the needle on [my] behalf.”

I understand the reticence of Our Leaders to Step Up (lately): Responsibility can be a troublesome (financial) burden to bear: say/ do anything and you then own it, that, and potentially face the Wrath of MAGA: for opposing their agenda. Safer to sit quietly and not get noticed (while America burns down all around us, speaking of)…

What I really require is to feel Safe in my own home: there's too many ways it could catch fire (as already twice it has, years past): taking the entire neighborhood with it, next time. Please, advocate for home-safety fire-prevention, at least. [You live nearby here too.] Free chimney/ heating (/electrical/ forestry?) inspections/ clearings/ repairs (for those who've fallen behind, cannot afford) couldn't hurt nor cost nearly so much compared to the potential damages done to property/ life should but one errant spark get loose…

Are you prepared to Make a Difference, be an example to others? Protect Your Town/ State/ Constituents? If so, Speak Up on behalf of the most endangered, please. [That'd be a great place to start, locally.]

Be well.
Your Neighbor,
“Silent”

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town Select Board, [Subject: Re: Neighbors Helping Neighbors]

Please can/ will you (find others willing to) help make our home(s) Safe?

Click "Cannot Review…" [2026/Jul/04]:
[Be patient, it'll get to the point eventually.]

Your Endangered Neighbor,
“Silent” [ZIP CODE]

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town: Chair, Admin, Welfare; State: Representatives, Senator,

In the meanwhile: a picture's worth..? "Cannot Review, take two…"
A new month has begun, please, let's get started.

Further, I just applied for Fuel Assistance. I need heating oil for this Fall, having completely run out. Trouble is, the Feds don't release the funds until December now. [Cheapest way to be rid of us: freeze/ starve us out.] Anything you can do about that?

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Community Charity, [CC: State Representatives, Senator]

I am withdrawing my request for your help insulating the upstairs of my home. That quest having begun last September: this being our forty-third back-and-forth email, with zero-forward-progress. It is time to admit that MAGA has won: whatever they haven't defunded/ demolished has been drowned in bureaucracy. It is okay to acknowledge defeat, would be more productive, force you to find new approaches rather than losing (more of) the same battles every year.

I just submitted my application for Fuel Assistance: I could still use your help with that. What I need is heating oil for this Fall, but that has now been delayed until December: too late to help… This is New England, not the South. Please could/ would you reach out to Our State/ Federal Representatives/ Senators (Governor, too) and Advocate for Urgency? Otherwise, how many (more) of Our Neighbors are going to freeze, this year?

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town Hall, [CC: State Representative] [Wednesday…]

We have already gone through this process, last Fall, which wasted weeks: the financial interview conducted at the Town Police Station (with the (armed?) Chief sitting across the table from me: there (presumably) to ‘bear witness’ to any financial misrepresentation on my part (being not the slightest intimidating, mind you)). You have all those Proofs, nothing has changed: other than the SSDI COLA of 2.8%, my Savings is now under $500: which will go towards heating oil (rather than fixing my car: with pieces falling off). I receive Food Stamps and Medicaid Spenddown (pretty much the gold-standard for ‘Poor’: universally acknowledged, being all the proof [update: well, not anymore: policy-change] required to qualify for): Fuel/ Electrical Assistance, Medical Financial Assistance (after spenddown, through ["HMG1"]), an Amazon Prime Discount… Same as previously, which resulted in a (flat-out) Denial from the Town Human Services ("Welfare") Department (never to be heard from again, until yesterday).

How would it go any different, this time? Please, don't stall/ hide behind bureaucracy. Instead, Practice Advocacy: speak-up, ask around Our Town for help. I've no doubt there are charitable folks/ businesses to be found, willing to donate some labor (in the interest of Public Safety): someone just needs to find them, on our behalf. Please, Accommodate your disabled neighbors. Or is that too much to Officially Request of Town Government (yet again)?

Any thoughts/ progress on hiring me a Building Inspector? [Not that old guy who works for the Town, who neglected to inspect the electrical here (several charities/ revisions ago): because the basement stairs were too steep.] Top Priority.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> State Representative, [Wednesday…]

And regarding all the other matters? Lest they be forgotten/ evaded…

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> State Representatives, Senator, [Friday…]

We all feel abandoned by our government representatives (well, except for those who are pro-MAGA: somehow getting shit done, to the detriment of the disfortunate, to the profitability of sociopathy). You (all) seem to see only one way through: Legislation, ignoring other paths, blaming The System (of which you are a part/ fault) for getting in the way, being immovable (when clearly that isn't so for the opposition).

The way forward is The People. Specifically, Our Neighbors. If we cannot fix the Nation/ State, let's fix Our Town. Please, find those nearby who haven't given up, still care, are willing to Speak Up, thumb their nose at ‘The Norm,’ Act Locally, and all that. Or is there nobody (else) left around here who's sick of this crap, willing to Fight For Change (for the better)? How many clichés must be espoused before someone will (finally) Make A Difference?

I forwarded you the paperwork Town Hall requires before even considering ‘helping’: forcing us to navigate their labyrinth only to discover a trap-door Rejection waiting at the center (presuming we can even find our way there). They have never said a word about Advocacy, refusing to ask for help (on behalf of those who need it) because that might make them look bad/ weak (/Communist), or actually encourage change (which they will then have to adapt to, or answer for). Bureaucracy will be the ruin of America if we allow it (to continue to be weaponized). We gotta take the power back, demand better.

Please, let's figure out how to keep my house from burning down, then move on to the next neighbor in need. Low-income chimney sweep vouchers seems like a no-brainer, a good place to start, a definitive goal, easily understood: the Public Safety benefits cannot be denied. Or will it take a few local homes (/lives) lost before anyone cares (how close it came to destroying their home)? I'm sure a reasonable agreement can be reached with the local businesses who deal in chimneys, heating {electrical, forestry} to remedy some of the most endangering conditions threatening our homes. Take up a collection: "Keep Our Town From Burning Down." There's certainly no shortage of ‘spare change’ floating around this here neck of our woods.

If not you, please find someone willing to Stand Up at/ to Town Hall, Start the Conversation. Let us see who's opposed to Neighbors Helping Neighbors, and their rationale. Hopefully, finding those allies who won't just sit back and watch Our Village ‘burned down’ due to disregard/ indifference/ bureaucracy. When ‘The System’s Broken: build a new/ better one.

Be well.
“Silent,” Esquire
Justice of the Peace

ps. Apologies, I'm in a mood. Nothing personal. The Next American Revolution cannot come soon enough. Shall we start it here? Show how it can be done, peacefully. Does "Live Free Or Die" mean nothing (to you)?

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> State Representatives, Senator,

And with that, there's really nothing left to say other than what's already been said…

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

“Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph.” ~Haile Selassie

Do Better, Please.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> County Human Services, [(same) Thursday…]

Attached is what-all ["Town Welfare"] supplies for the initial intake application: four documents (seemingly endless signatures sought: assenting to misspelled legal mumbojumbo), fifteen [update, learned: the next town over's is seventy-five] pages (designed to trip us up with maths, reasked a dozen different ways)… that is not okay, would require an accountant/ attorney/ interpreter just to fill it out (properly)… having only gotten worse, longer, more cluttered, abstract since last year… panic-inducing their documentation is (to me). Please help?

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Community Charity, [Re: Fuel Assistance] [Thursday…]

As I understand from your email yesterday, you require the ‘all-pages’ SSDI Benefit Letter, trouble is… I don't have it, haven't gotten one in years. Login.gov does not recognize my face as a face, so I cannot access mySSA. Every year, I request they send me physical copies of my letters through the mail (which they haven't, years running), ask if I can come in to their local branch to prove I am who I am (such to use their website: as their "Confirm ID at your local Post Office" sign-up page/ form is broken, years running), demanding my full SSDI Declaration… all they've ever done is send me the one-page version: which is inadequate [update: this year, by policy-change] to suit your needs, neglect to schedule me an appointment (claiming they'll get around to it, but never do), and all my notices (still) get sent to somewhere I cannot find/ reach. [Bureaucracy, am I right?] Perhaps this year will be different? I shall send you whatever I can get from them, whenever-long it takes to arrive. Good enough (to proceed, rather than "halt and stand still" until they (don't) respond [being the intended ‘hold-up,’ by design])? [Update– SocSec never sent me my Benefit Letter.]

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Faith Charity, [Thursday…]

There have been a few more Updates to "Cannot Review [+take two]…" since last I wrote to you. [The quest continues…]

I would appreciate it if you could send that link to the Crew Leaders who helped here (leave it up to them whether/ not to pass along to their team). I want them to have further context/ backstory regarding who they assisted: being most grateful/ humble for their efforts.

If you do not want your response, nor charity name, posted there, I understand: just say so. [I thought I was being complimentary towards your cause, but cannot be certain.] I acknowledge that this is your busy season: wrangling a fresh horde of hundreds of teenagers (across dozens of jobsites) every week, doing Good for those who need it (whom nobody else seems willing to help, nomore): please take your time, if/ when convenient: I would love to hear your thoughts/ insight.

Bless You.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> State DHHS, [BCC: 13 Departments] [Subject: Authority in( )Action] [(next) Tuesday Morning…]

It has been quite some time since last we ‘butted heads’ over my (re)application for EBT, Medicaid: appreciated. [Doesn't mean I have given up ‘the fight’ elsewhere…] Do you happen to have any Authority over Town Human Services? Attached: the Town's "Welfare" initial intake paperwork. I have no doubt you long-ago perfected a streamlined application (before the lawyers weighed it down with dozens of "I affirm/ agree/ attest" declarations and subtle disqualifiers). Mightn't it be easier for All Human Services if you had a "universal" form to prove our limited resources, with which to then determine acceptance/ rejection? Rather than leaving it up to each Town/ County/ Department/ Coordinator (/Attorney) to waste time/ effort/ money concocting their own (abominations)? [We already (re-)submit/ affirm our every (unreasonable) proof through you, digitally, seasonally: how difficult might it be for you to export said data, officially?]

Is there anything you can do to help me/ us? Do you have an Advocacy Program? Or any attorneys authorized to ‘wag their finger’ at the Towns when they are being evasive to their Public Safety Responsibilities?

Context– "Cannot Review [+take two]…" [Jul/04, Aug/04: feel free to skim, I'm sure you've seen it all before. Follow it back to Feb/01, Feb/07, Apr/08 for failure of (mental) healthcare, too.] I am getting nowhere (for nearly a year now on that front), have nobody to speak up for me, have nothing productive left with to plead (for my life)… Here is my latest unsent draft, which I somehow doubt would help to overcome the now-standard "No Comment" nonresponse/ deflection…

At what point are we (not) supposed to give up, roll over (and die of systemic neglect)?

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> State DHHS: Commissioner, Regional Admin, [Thursday…]

I could really use a point-person, an advocate (with Authority) if you will, rather than fumbling my way through with whomever responds (or doesn't), from whichever department, in whatever direction they redirect me (away from), please. [Reminder: over-the-phone is incompatible with my disabilities: an Accommodation we have previously discussed/ addressed, at the highest levels (which seemingly, few below received ‘the message’).]

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Regional Admin, [CC: Commissioner] [(that) Friday…]

I appreciate your offer, but things have been going smoothly with your bureau (for me, anyways) for a while now: well done. It is all the other departments under your DHHS umbrella that have (again) demonstrated the same-old same-old. Regarding the Ombudsman: last time I reached out, it required siccing the Governor's Office on them to finally get a response of: "Fault the Feds!" Unhelpful. Why would it go any different this time, me reaching out on my own? I know it's not your problem, but could you please pass along my concerns/ story to them, advocate for a helpful response (this time)? Thank you.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Community Charity, [Thursday…]

I had given up, hence my withdrawal.
Of course I would like to proceed.
Let me know when works.
Thank you.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Everyone (Local/ State: 30x) Else, [Subject: Semiannual Update] [That Weekend…]

Since last I wrote to you… Topics (lived experience): Disability, Welfare, (Mental) Healthcare, Hunger, Charity, Faith, Advocacy, Authority, Heating, Public Safety, Indifference, Silence… "Too distracted to review…" click the green "[next]" at the bottom of that entry for those to follow. Or, for just the past six weeks: "Cannot Review [+take two]…" This isn't a game of ‘gotcha’ or a trap: promise. Should you not wish your responses posted there: just say so. [Rather than saying/ doing nothing, as far too many did.] I know, it's weird, hard-to-follow (has little to do with the rest), long-winded (30+ pages): welcome to my reality. Advice: KBO (don't give up, as I was/ am about to, yet again).

Having already demonstrated (Town/ State, don't even get me started on the Feds') Government is not going to assist, time to see/ hear what Our Neighbors have to say, are willing to do. Please, pass this along. [But perhaps could you preface it better?]

Kindly, Help/ Save Us?
Your Neighbors,
[ZIP CODE]

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> The Only Respondent, [(next) Friday…]

I am a bit tetchy when it comes to "fill out our forms, first, then (perhaps) we can have a discussion." Having demonstrated how that's been going (poorly) with the Town… [Doesn't forcing me to send my SocSec# over unencrypted email violate some manner of State Privacy Laws? That, or I would have to print-out nearly a hundred pages of all my (bank/ court/ government) proofs, as apparently they were unable/ unallowed to download those PDFs from my secured GDrive Folder.] Should we fill-out the forms incorrectly, or not know the proper keywords/ maths (which I don't): auto-denied/ roundfiled the help-request becomes. That, and then our mistakes become a matter of Official Record (to be used against us later (in court): which your form too made clear to mention (/threaten)), before we even get started.

Attempting hereby to explain one scenario/ concern (of many)– ["Town Hall"] has repeatedly refused (by saying nothing) to Accommodate this Communications-Disabled Citizen: Failure to provide an Advocate or Interpreter: despite at least twice the conversation ending with them stating (along the lines of) "does not compute." If they cannot understand us (or choose to pretend they don't such to not answer our (reasonable) questions/ concerns) doesn't that obligate them to provide us with someone who speaks their same language: ‘government/ liability’? I encounter this brush-off frequently: most simply "no comment" their way out by not answering, or redirect to the same few Googled "advocacy" links: most of whom stopped responding to my letters years ago, or simply again redirect me elsewhere. [And around and around and around the drain until we drown.] I require a Proper Introduction to some of these "advocacy groups" you keep talking/ praising about, who seemingly want nothing to do with helping me. [Dumping us upon the digital backdoorsteps of (yet another) elsewhere does not advocacy make.]

I sent you those links to provide further examples of this and more issues, going back weeks, months, years, a decade+ should you care to follow it that far back: please do. Evidence, best I could present of Systemic Neglect/ Indifference/ Disregard towards Your Disabled Citizenry, at all levels.

Additionally (unrelated to disabilities), the Town Inspector failed to actually inspect the dodgy electrical here: a topic the Town has not addressed. I suspect you'd just tell me to take it up with a lawyer: being a service I cannot afford, yet another example of not a clearly defined/ precedented situation easily/ quickly resolved (to a lawyer's financial benefit): story of my disabled life. Must my house burn down before I have a case? Or perhaps the State could step-up and protect their most endangered (from those in power doing their damnable best to Evade Responsibility: for that which is clearly theirs)? Has the Executive Branch No Authority over Your Townships (when they've done ‘wrong’)?

Please, prove why you're here: “There is nothing more important to us then collaborating and working one-on-one, with advocacy groups or other state agencies. Let us know how we might assist!”

Assist Me, Please.

ps. I couldn't help but notice nobody at your office signed their name to your email: yet another example of the ‘bureaucratic dodge’ which has become even more common, a way of making it harder for us to track-down, follow-up with anybody specific. Of note: there has been No Response from anyone at the Governor's Office (to which you are inexorably tied) to the same email I sent youse…

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town Hall, [CC: State Representative] [Thursday…]

If at this point (years later) it still remains “unclear” what this disabled citizen is asking/ requesting/ pleading of ["Town"] Government, therein is the requisite proof that an Advocate (or at least an Interpreter, possibly an Attorney) is required, which you shall provide for me.

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town Welfare, [Next Morning…]

A few clarifications are required before proceeding (anew)…

Note: it was a Google Drive Folder, full of individual PDFs, I linked you to.

1) Regarding my Application, Proofs (hereinafter "Docs") Submission, reiterated by you, “approved methods” are thus:
  A. Print out ~100 pages of Docs, or
  B. Send the Docs over standard email?

2) Has anyone (else) from ["Town"] Government accessed/ downloaded those Docs I linked you to? [The link having since been removed.]

3) Presuming my application is accepted, are you authorized to hire/provide for me:
  A. Building Inspector
  B. Electrician
  C. Plumber/ Septic
  D. Roofing/ Foundation
  E. Forestry/ Landscaping
  F. HVAC/ Mason
  G. Advocate
  H. Interpreter
  I. Attorney?

4) Are you authorized to discuss, on behalf of the Town, matters of:
  A. Disabilities
  B. Accommodations
  C. Accessibility
  D. Advocacy
  E. Negligence
  F. Legalities?

5) Would the process of Docs Verification (“follow up”) again require being conducted under a police presence?

6) Given my application was rejected last year, as my finances haven't notably improved/ worsened since then, what are the odds my application would be accepted this year?

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town Welfare, [This Week…]

Is ["Town"] Human Services refusing/ unable to answer reasonable questions put forth by a disabled citizen prior to your requisite submission of heap-tonnes of personal/ private/ banking/ legal documentation/ proofs unto this Government Entity? Which reminds me: Inquiry 7) Whom at Town Hall (or beyond) would thereafter have access to all/ any of my data?

Please, Escalate to Town Leadership: this being Their Responsibility (to answer for).

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town Welfare, [Same Day…]

Is ["Town"] Human Services (and therefore Town Hall) again refusing to answer my reasonable/ pertinent questions (several of which have now been asked more than thrice)? The answers to which will determine whether there is any point in proceeding, rather than needlessly handing over my Confidential Data to the Town (Attorney: potentially to be used against me, instead of helping me), wasting everybody's time on a fool's errand.

If you are unallowed to say anything other than what you have again reiterated, time to bring your Boss(es)—the Town Administrator and/ or the Select Board: those with Authority—into this conversation. I Insist.

Another month has begun…

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town: Admin, Selectboard Chair, [Two Days Later…]

Town Welfare has hit the dead-end of their bureaucratic authority: cannot proceed/ discuss further, stuck in a feedback loop. I demand to hear from their Supervisors.

Or will you two also demand I uninformedly surrender My Privacy Rights before answering some basic questions about where that data goes, how it could be used (against me), nor if Town Hall is even willing/ able to help me with my concerns, first?

Do Better?

</DRAFT>

<DRAFT> Town Admin, [Two Days Later…]

That answered Inquiry 7. Please address, as best/ reservedly you are permitted, the others numbered 1–6. #1 seemingly has been clarified: "waste paper" as the only remaining option for submission. I understand if you are not allowed to speculate upon #6, though it would be appreciated: enough time has been wasted already. Please Escalate Further should a ‘Greater Authority’ be required to resolve these outstanding concerns before proceeding (pointlessly).

</DRAFT>